Movie Review: Serum

This fine gem came out in 2006 and stars Derek Phillips (Prison Break, Friday Night Lights, Grey's Anatomy) and Dennis O'Neill (Prison Break, Raging Bull, Walker Texas Ranger).

Once again, the box cover looked cooler than the movie. "Serum is a cutting edge thriller with twists and turns that will leave you breathless as you watch the bloody chaos unfold"..... thanks marketing department.

The story line is simple and obvious - a doctor is trying to cure cancer in a lab that once served as a hospital. A serum that he's created, but not quite yet perfected, turns people into brain-hungry demons. Obviously.

Time stamps on every scene.... "Two days later", "4:00pm", "midnight".... annoying.

The best scene, and by best I mean "worst acting with the most cliche's and errors", is when the cop (that's one cop, not a few or more) descends on a party with two other characters. One character in the back seat is able to get out of the car without a problem - even though cop cars aren't supposed to have inside handles. The party crowd doesn't begin to scatter until the lone cop is in the middle of the gathering - even though he showed up with lights and sirens. Oh - and he's wearing this really strange hat too. It's supposed to look "official", but it misses completely.

Another "oops" from this scene is when the demon is eating the brain of a recent victim. There's no blood on the victims face, but when a character discovers the body, blood has streamed down - even though the body is laying on the ground. So basically the blood is there, but flowed in the wrong direction. Yeah, this whole scene is pretty funny.

Gracious nudity included.

Movie Review: Remedy

Released in 2005, this film stars Arthur J. Nascarella, Christian Maelen and Candice Coke - but in order to cash in on The Sopranos connection, the DVD box features only Maelen, Frank Vincent (Phil Leotardo) and Vincent Pastore (Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero). Both Vincent's and Pastore's roles are so minor in this film.

Ace Frehley (guitarist for Kiss) also plays a minor role - why isn't he on the cover?

The storyline: A group of coke-loving friends get lost in the drugs after one of them is mysteriously shot to death. Nascarella plays the tough cop who, while looking for the gunman, also deals with his own vice.

I'll admit it - I picked up this movie because of Soprano's withdraw. I wanted to see what else the actors had done. And I wanted to see Ace do some acting. I met him a few years ago in a New York nightclub - he was trashed and incoherent.... so his role in this film was hardly a stretch.

The film is slow for the first half, but comes together in the end. It's the last 15 minutes or so that really surprised me. Most of the movie is just a back-and-fourth of snorting lines of coke and verbal fighting. A few punches are thrown and we get some gratuitous nudity.

A lot of the details are skipped and just assumed. For example - one character overdoses but we only get to see his body after the cops find him. We didn't even get a dramatic scene of the character sitting down to start the session. That was kinda lame.

Remedy on the IMDB

Movie Review: The Wash

Released in 2001 and starring Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg with cameos by Tommy Chong, Enimem, Pauly Shore, Shaq and a bunch of rappers like Ludacris and Xibit.

The Storyline: Dee Loc (Snoop) works at a carwash and his roommate, Sean (Dr Dre), needs a job. Dee Loc suggests the carwash, to which Sean applies and is instantly made a manager. He plays it straight and the rest of the employees hate him for it.

I guess I was in the mood for dumb black humor. Typically in this type of movie, the ghetto-fabulous lifestyle of inner-city blacks is utilized through exploitation while at the same time, dropping a countless number of who’s who in cameos. The formula is simple - dumb down every black stereotype and say “fuck” a lot. Smoke pot and flash handguns for additional street cred.

This is the type of movie you watch when you're just killing time.

The Wash on the IMDB